Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
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He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
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Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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