I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize