Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
