Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
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We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
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It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
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