a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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