This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
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Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
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You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.