Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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