dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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