i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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