brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Found your dick twin last night
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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