yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Jerry, you need to find god
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
