There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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