Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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