Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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