two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
