you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
