My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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