Duck Duck Cougar?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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