she looked like the before picture.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
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Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
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Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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