Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.