I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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