So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize