Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
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he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
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Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.