It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
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hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
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I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.