You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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