He is such a slut. More and more my type.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize