I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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