she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
