The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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