i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
