so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
