That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.