Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration