Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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