i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
