My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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