Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
