At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This baby is an asshole
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
