Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
