like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
