do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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