since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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