Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
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