It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
