I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.