guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?