Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE