Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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