my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
