Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
