he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize