you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
