we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
