East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
